Monday, 4^th July 2005 | 9:28 AM
Good/bad weekend

I'm a bit groggy this morning, and I don't know why. I thought I had quite a fabulous weekend. Been shopping - bought some new shoes on Friday evening, then arranged for a couple of outfits to be tailored on Saturday afternoon when I was out shopping with my sister. Off-the-rack is difficult for me, still possible, but a bit difficult. Mainly because not only I have a size problem, I also have a very disproportionate body. I'm ridiculously pear-shaped, with my top and bottom halves not in proportion with each other.

I just realised that I don't usually like to shop for clothes because I'm too lazy and somehow view it as being a waste of money. There's also the fact that due to the whole size issue, it's not as fun for me as it would be for the average girl. It's a whole lot of hassle. So I'm just realising that I usually wear my clothes and shoes to death before I would realise that they're practically falling apart and that maybe, it would be time for me to get new stuff.

It will be an insane week for me at work this week, because I have several big meetings lined up. I'm still finding my way through my job after the merger, but my new immediate superior, whom I shall hereby nickname as Ms Manette because she shares the same first name as that character from Dicken's A Tale of Two Cities, has been supportive. She's firm and demanding, but supportive. No one has clearly outlined what the situation will be like after my current boss leaves and retires, but I sense that I will be reporting to Ms Manette directly. The GM, Deebs (not his real name, of course), has been pestering directly me on different stuff, but hopefully this will just be because I used to report to my boss who was the co's MD directly, and he's just continuing that method for now before we move on to the new system soon. As far as bosses go, I prefer Ms M to Deebs. It's very weird, all my friends have told me how horrible it is to work in an office where there are too many women. All the bitching and gossiping. I agree with the gossiping, but so far in my 2 years here, I'm finding it easier to work with the women than with the men. Less ego and selfishness, more focusing on getting the job done.

Crazy day yesterday because I had a tiff with my dad. He was cleaning up my desk as I was sleeping. I was awakening to the noises he was making, and I know him enough without him actually saying it that he was annoyed, if not pissed, at me for just sleeping yesterday morning instead of, oh, I don't know, being able to read his mind and do things he never told me he'd like me to do but just imagine I could divine somehow. Apparently, he had liked me to clear my desk, and other post-move bag still lying around. And he cleared my desk and moved the PC there. And since he cleared it, I discovered my remote control for the air-con missing. I distinctly remember putting it on my desk before I slept, because that's where I usually leave it. And it was there before he was in the room, but now it's not there anymore. I endured not having the remote until it was time to go to bed, then my sis came home and both of us were looking for the remote, and my sis felt I should my dad if he'd seen it since I said it was on the desk until he cleared it.

I didn't want to do that because I knew just how he would reply. I ended up asking him anyway, because the missing remote was driving me nuts. "Dad, have you seen the remote for the air-con in my room," I asked as I was on the way to the bathroom.

"How should I know where it is? You throw it around anywhere you like and you ask me now," he replied, just as I predicted. It made me so furious that I slammed the bathroom door, and I refused to speak to him for the rest of the night.

Even my youngest brother and sis could sense how angry I was and they were walking on eggshells for the rest of the night. For one thing, I'm not the one who fights with my parents. It's not in me. I'm the one who's closest to them. But my anger with my dad is simply the result of me having bottled my frustrations with him too much. It's the whole frustration I have with him meddling with my room, just because he thinks I'm not putthing things where he thinks it should be. He thinks I'm almost 25 and can't be trusted enough to clean my own room, that's why he's doing the job for me. I'm pissed because I think he doesn't respect me as an adult who knows where she like to have what things placed exactly. He thinks I don't remember where I put my things, which is totally wrong. I have a visual memory and I remember exactly where I keep something, and if I don't find it there, most probably it's because it's been moved by someone else. We both can't talk about this without me offending him and getting angry with him and then getting angry with myself for getting angry with him. Using my mom as intermediary is useless because sometimes I think she doesn't really see my point of view.

Good God I'm sick of having to explain to people just because I don't organise my room in the anal way of books arranged by author or even height, clothes arranged by colour or whatever - it doesn't mean I don't have a system of organisation! My system works for me, and since I'm the one who needs it, I don't understand why it should bother other people that my things aren't where they think they should be!

I'm sick of being treated like an adult only when it suits my parents but otherwise they're content to think of me as a little kid who doesn't know better.

- last entry / next entry -

recent entries:

Monday, 27^th February 2006 - My house of cards finally comes down

Saturday, Feb. 25, 2006 - Books and fitness

Thursday, 23^rd February 2006 - Still fat and sleepless

Monday, 13^th February 2006 - Fat sleepless me

Sunday, 5^th February 2006 - It's more than just cartoons