Wednesday, 16^th February 2005 | 10:35 AM
I want to sit on them and squash them to make them go away

I've been away for a while, haven't I? A good part of last week I spent lazing about, because of the long Chinese New Year holiday break. It was on last Wednesday and Thursday. I worked only half the day on Tuesday, and got Friday off too. So - long break that I really relished by doing nothing much.

Ever since I went back to work on Monday I've plunged back straight into the thick of things. I've been thinking lately about how feasible it is to get a car. Prices are quite low now (by Singapore standards) and I feel like I should grab the opportunity. The long commute is costing my mental health now. I have to get up at dawn virtually trying to reach work on time - and there no guarantees. Something or other seems to always conspire against me. It's so stressful trying to ensure I reach work on time!

I seem so irritable these days. I also have the urge to sleep a lot - but I hate that. Too much sleep makes me feel all... groggy and stuff. I'm reading a book about quarter-life crisis now and I must say I'm relating a lot to what the people interviewed in the book said they were experiencing. I'm curious to get to the part wondering about how do I get over it though. It feels absolutely.... exasperating.

I have a bad habit of bottling my worries, problems, frustrations and other negative thoughts inside me. I know it's illogical, and unwise, but I always feel if I keep them all inside and not let it out, it's like I can somehow sit on them and squash them slowly till they're nothing and then they'll be gone. Time and again I know this is not true, that it's more likely that I blow up and explode in frustration. But habits die hard. Everything I even feel like listing out what makes me unhappy or frustrated, my brain just clams up. And this is not even about talking it out with other people, this is just about trying to list them in writing or whatever!

I'm losing my mind.

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Monday, 27^th February 2006 - My house of cards finally comes down

Saturday, Feb. 25, 2006 - Books and fitness

Thursday, 23^rd February 2006 - Still fat and sleepless

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Sunday, 5^th February 2006 - It's more than just cartoons