Tuesday, 16^th August 2005 | 12:04 PM
Resentment

I write all these, a list of things I resent, in the hopes that with me writing them down they will all disappear from my consciousness, turn into a fireball and burst into the sky and leave me the heck alone.

I resent no matter how long I work, my work never seems to be complete, but my backlog of work increases more and more. All working extra long hours seem to accomplish is make me more and more tired and stressed and grumpy.

I resent interruptions while I'm working. I'm being interrupted for the f-ing trivial of matters. Are everyone idiots? Do they think I have nothing to do but check for them what the price of a single title is? Haven't they f-ing heard of emails for these trivial questions? And this includes Deebs, who just loves to interrupt people. Asses.

I resent how I'm expected to take on more responsibilities, and more important responsibilities, but I still have to do menial work which can easily consume my entire work week. I'm expected to plan product promotional campaigns, meet customers, order these products, keep track of stock, price the products AND ENTER HUNDREDS OF PRODUCT INFORMATION into the system each day.

I resent how little time I have for exercise.

I resent how I'm often so tired these days.

I resent the feeling that no matter how much I sleep, I'm still tired. I resent the nightmares that I get when I sleep these days (people chasing me to kill me, or to kill someone I know).

I resent my fat body.

I resent the fact that no matter how I bloody try to control my expenditure, I am still having cash-flow problems.

I resent how my mom is treating my sis's upcoming engagement as being so bloody important she thinks both my sis and I should move rooms. Just because the room that she wants my sis and I to move into can accomodate a double bed/queen-sized bed (the standard bed for all Malay bridal bedrooms), and our current bedroom can't. What the heck? Am I suppose to sacrifice all the storage space I have in my current room, just because my sister is getting married one day?

I resent how I seem to be the only one my parents bug for these or that when I'm at home.

I resent to have to deal with family problems on top of the shit I get at work.

I resent the fact that I'm underpaid and earning much less than my other peers. Because I would love to get out of debt someday. I resent the fact that people can be charging twice their monthly pay on their credit cards and no one will balk, but if I'm in arrears of a couple of hundred dollars in my loan payments I have people chasing me like I'm gonna default on them at any minute.

I resent the fact that I'm paying for my education now, and will be paying till I'm 30. I wish my parents had been more upfront with me back then that they couldn't exactly afford to pay for my university education. I'd have understood the problem more then and found ways to deal with it.

I resent the way my parents treat me like I'm an adult only when it suits them.

I resent the fact that I find 24 hours in a day too short.

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recent entries:

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