Monday, 27^th February 2006 | 10:45 PM
My house of cards finally comes down

My senior manager had a talk with me today. Basically about how her boss lost it with me last week, and now they both suspect I'm not coping very well with the job.

I had so much to say, yet at the same time I didn't know what to say. I know all this was coming. That whatever delusions I had of being able to do the job was about to crack. And it did, today.

And I had nothing to say. What is there to say? My senior manager thinks I should be delegating more administrative work to other people. The thing is, in my opinion, THERE IS NO ONE TO DELEGATE THE TASKS TO. I'm at the bottom of the food chain in my department. If I delegate the task to some other colleague who are as over-burdened as I am, whatever I ask them to do will be last in their priority. It will take forever to get done, therefore I end up doing the task myself.

It is so hard to explain. I obviously don't have a managerial view of things. Which reminds me. I was describing the difficulties I find in handling the IT system, and on hindsight I guess the system is made for managers. It's made to make it easy for managers or bosses to analyse reports and data (and note: managers and bosses have SUBORDINATES they can task with with producing these reports for them). For us worker bees the system is cumbersome, bloated, needing us to take too many steps to settle one simple task. But the company has decided on it and so that shall be it.

I swear.. it drains my energy just dealing with this behemoth system.

I don't know what to think really. I think I'm being given some slack just because I'm quite sure, no one else can do my job. I'm the person most familiar with the products I handle.

Life sucks.

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recent entries:

Saturday, 1^st April 2006 - The constant struggle

Sunday, 26^th March 2006 - Finding my stride again

Monday, 20^th March 2006 - It's like I'm Vulcan, or something

Monday, 27^th February 2006 - My house of cards finally comes down

Saturday, Feb. 25, 2006 - Books and fitness